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People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room.  It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.

People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.


When people tell me "you're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon, because I'm a problem solver. Not that I ever could sleep till noon

Dear: "Fan"girls and fakes  Pls stop shipping and making fnaf characters anime, btw Bonnie is a girl not a boy. All your fake fan stuff ruins the fandom for the rest of the REAL fnaf fans. So pls stop being jerks and go fangirl over stupid one direction and anime Pokémon whatever, we dont care as long as u don't ruin the fandom for the real fans!  -sincerely, the real fnaf fans and other fandoms hurt by fakes... We don't hate u just don't ruin it for us.   This was also written by a girl 

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn't look good in prison stripes, smile at the dumbass and just walk away


My X is a total Cheating Lying Douche Bag of a Prick! Happily Separated now.

Memes for Men pt.1

Sometimes people just need to hear it. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel.

There are enough neglected public-sector jobs in the United States to employ  everybody, and if the wealthy paid their fair share instead of hoarding, there is more than enough money to pay a living wage so that every man, woman, and child in this nation has a first-world standard of living. The only thing preventing that, is the Republican Party. Fact, people. If you can't do the math, please go back to fourth grade in a public school.

Funny pictures about The definition of poor. Oh, and cool pics about The definition of poor. Also, The definition of poor photos.

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You know I can speak Sarcasm fluently, I count that as my main language and I know people don’t take it much as a talent.

One bitch I used to work with always chewed like that.  With her mouth open and loud as hell. So unattractive but then again so is she.  Guess her mama didn't teach her any table manners.

35 Funny Pics of the Randomly Odd Insanely Hilarious Team Jimmy Joe


I want a closed casket funeral. Toward the end of the service, the organist plays "Pop Goes the Weasel" over and over until everyone is staring at my coffin with silent, horrified anticipation.

Hahahaha! ;*

34 Funny Quotes And Sayings 34 Funny Quotes And Sayings. More funny quotes here.[optin-cat id&