Forget the partridge in a pear tree — on the first day of Christmas, what I really want is a bearded-husband in a grey tweed. And by the second day, hopefully he’ll have me seeing two turtle doves, and on the third, screaming louder than three French hens. #WhenDoIGetToThePipersPipe #AndThatRandomBanana #hotdudesreading #HDRfangram